SURVIVOR

Hey biatch i just wanna say you disgusts me completely. Get the fuck outta my face becuz the sight of you automatically makes me wanna throw up real bad. I swear one day you'll get your rightfully deserved karma. That fall is just the beginning. Ppl like you deserve to rot in hell.

I'm not the sort who screams and causes drama whenever I'm upset. I don't really express myself that much. I do not tell ppl how I feel cuz I don't want matters to escalate. I make assumptions. A LOT! I font wanna argue becuz it NEVER STOPS?! I've learnt my lesson, I lost two of my dearest friends. And now? HELL!
U promised me that u'll delete all female contacts from your mobile. I NEVER force you to do that. You did that willingly just to reassure me after that fateful incident. But guess what? You did not. Apparently. It's perfectly fine to have female contacts. So, if you've known earlier that you're not capable of doing so or is not intending to, don't make that bold promise in the first place! Things would have been different. And u know something? You make awful lot of empty promises.
You promised me when we first got together that you were gonna quit smoking because I absolutely hate smokers. But you did not keep that. You smoked in Taiwan. And other times. I know its difficult. But to smoke 4 packets in a month? Ridiculous. You said you were not fond of clubbing anymore after you've known me. I mean, it's really alright to club? Right? But you kept it from me?! You were afraid I'd be worried. So why even bother telling me the next day? You said you were gonna call last night? But you did not. Eventually. The reason? You were too exhausted. Fine. I bought that. BUT you still had the energy to club? At 11 plus?! One invitation from your friend and you rush ALL the way there. One simple request of you to call you girlfriend? It takes a lot of effort. I get it. Sorry for being too DEMANDING. I feel played, AGAIN! For the second time. Or maybe not even.
I stayed up last night like a freaking dumbful hoping you'd at least text me again. But you did not. You normally do. What happened!! Wth happened?! I guess you were having too much fun.
I've been keeping this in me for too long really. I didn't wanna let it out because I knew very well that It would affect our relationship. But I just couldnt stand it any longer. And I can't stand it whenever you talk about her her and her!!!! her life drama and all! Does it even concern me?! Since you care for her so much, go to her then. Because I'm sick if it! What if I talk about J or other guys in front of you? How would you feel if I still keep in contact with my exs?!
I'm at the verge of breaking my keyboard and slamming my cell into the screen. I've had it. It's enough. I've nobody to cry to. I've lost too much. No friends. No more.

I woke up yesterday in the middle of the night and found out i had high fever of 38.4 degrees. I ignored medication and went back to sleep. When my mum woke me up in the morning for school it got worse. Blame it on me.

I checked my temperature and to my surprise, it rose to 39.6 degrees. I BECAME BLIND AND DEAF FOR A MOMENT. I could only see light and nothing else. Everything sounded really muffled around me. Mum forced me to take a cold shower and i felt much better after. Went to see the doctor and was given 2 days MC.



I swear i was so terrified i was afraid that i would really turn blind and deaf FOREVER.

The night before he was so sweet to come all the way down to my place to pass me herbal drink and strepsils. How thoughtful. :) Luv you XOXO

I miss you.
I need you so bad.
Everything about you revolves around me.





It just occurred to me that i won't be able to see you for the coming weeks.
I'll just have to deal with it.









Thanks mum and dad.

I was supposed to attend some english seminar at tampines regional library yesterday (that i've paid 40 bucks for) from 10 to 5. But i decided not to as i was no in the mood to,due to friday's conflict.
So, i decided to go over to baby's place in the morning. He whipped up a meal for me. HOW SWEET. Then, we watched ten promises to my dog and mystery men. I swear, mystery men is such a lame movie. Quote 'I can only be invisible when no one is watching.' HAHA.
After that, we both headed down to east coast for his ex classmate's birthday. I swear, i regretted not talking much to his friends. They were such friendly people. Oh wells. We had to leave early thanks to my unreasonably early curfew!
I treasured every moment on our journey home, as i began to be acutely aware that he's gonna be leaving me in a few days time. I'm gonna be missing you so so much when you're away.
I teared when i was talking to him over the phone last night. I dont want you to leave. :(

We get to skip chemistry lessons just to attend the career exhibition at Sun Tec. We were all smiles and getting along quite well in the bus, but tension soon arises when we arrived at Sun Tec.
You know how it feels to be left out? It hurts so bad, words can hardly describe how i felt the entire time. Walking all alone, feeling isolated. UGH what happened? Can you please tell me! I tried talking to you, but you gave me the cold shoulder the entire time. Is it something that i've done wrong?
I was so upset that i contacted baby to come fetch me home. It was so sweet of him to rush all the way down from Bukit Batok. I really would not know what to do without him. Thanks for accompanying me. I luv you.

I don't wanna go through this all over again. I really don't. You know how much i don't want you to leave. I have no choice but to accede to it.

8 more days to your departure. I don't know what is gonna become of me during your training in Taiwan. It's gonna be agonizing for sure, and i'll be missing you every moment.